I am not so good at sharing lately. I hate to say it but for awhile I was weary of sharing anything more. I even shut down my facebook page! The doctor told me that most women really struggle 6 months to a year after diagnosis and treatment. We struggle to make sense of it all, struggle with the anger and struggle to feel "normal" again. Whatever the hell normal is really supposed to mean?
I just want to move on. After all the doctor visits with my daughter and then my cancer... to say I am sick of all the medical is an understatement! That is what made this latest news so tough. My biopsy came back with abnormal cells to the edge of the speciman. I needed to go back for re-exision of the area. The way they put it was that the cells weren't normal, but on the bright side they weren't cancer either. They were exactly somewhere in the middle. Well, isn't that comforting!!
Since this is in a different area I am led to more new doctors. I am shocked at the doctor who comes in to examine me - he looks like he should still be in high school!! What is happening here? Did they shorten the years it takes to be a doctor? I am thinking that there is no way in hell this young, TV Looking, doctor is qualified. Am I really getting this old?? Where the hell are the old, grandfatherly, doctors from my past??
So, back to the examining room. I am told that they would like to do a full body inspection since I have "suspicious" looking moles and with my history of cancer we have to be overly diligent. Now, I certainly wasn't prepared for this! Let's just say it is in the middle of winter in Minnesota and I am happily married. Nothing is more humiliating than standing in a room full of doctors with curly-q's poking out and hair on my legs so long I actually believe it provides extra warmth. Nothing that is, until the young doctor pulls out a giant magnifying glass!! I am not lying when I say I have small moles and freckles EVERYWHERE and he looked at each and every one of them with his mangnifying glass. It was torture!
Long story short I went for an outpatient procedure that left me with 20 more stitches. They took out enough to try and get clear margins. If the margins are not clear it may mean radiation. I am supposed to go back in February and you can bet your bottom dollar I will be visiting the spa for full body waxing before I leave!
