CANCER = ???

My doctor hates the word Cancer and how it is used as such a broad term of diagnosis. When you think about it, the word Cancer is often thought of as a singular disease. However, its meaning can vary greatly to each person and each person's story. Even within my diagnosis of breast cancer there were so many variables, some of which can change even as you go through the process. Let me touch on just a few (and forgive me for not always using correct medical terminology).

First, what type of breast cancer? I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma, meaning my cancer began in the ducts of the breast. This cancer represents 75% of all breast cancers. There is also Lobular and less common types such as Medullary, Mucinous, Tubular, Papillary and Pagets. I won't even start to try and explain them all in detail.

Is the cancer "in situ" (basically meaning in place) or has it become invasive? If it's invasive, how far has it spread? I had many small spots of cancer, some in situ and others invasive. Others may have one tumor. Either way, you need to look at what is the size of the tumor(s) and what is the grade? The grade is how aggressive the tumor is. Then there is what most people know about cancer...the stage, which is determined by the grade and the size. We have to find out if you are estrogen positive or negative? Also, are you BRCA1 or BRCA2 positive, which we find out by genetic testing. Basically that tells you if you have the cancer gene, therefore putting you at higher risks for reoccurrence and other cancers. I had 90% of my genes mapped and was negative.

So, how you treat your cancer will depend on every one of these questions. Then armed with answers it will also depend on where you are being treated, your doctor's recommendations, even your age and finally your wishes. I won't even start to talk about all the variables of reconstruction if you have a mastectomy. But that will also come into play with deciding on your course of your healing.

When you first hear the words confirming you have cancer your first thoughts are very grim. No way around it, death immediately comes to mind. This is why my doctor hates that word on its own. It immediately sends you, and everyone you love, into very dark thoughts. As you can imagine, trying to learn all the ins and outs of your diagnosis is information overload. Especially since you are still in shock from hearing you have cancer in the first place. It takes a bit to claw your way back to finding hope and hopefully your faith.

I write this because like many of you, I had no idea of the complexity of it all. I can't speak for everyone but sometimes many of the survivors I have talked to find it hard to hear some of the well-intended suggestions and questions from people when they are first trying to absorb it all and figure out the best course of action.

I have a good friend who was recently diagnosed. Even though my friend and I were both diagnosed with breast cancer our journey of healing has taken very different paths. However, as survivors we are still very much connected with our fight, hope and faith.

A common question immediately out of people's mouths is "what is the stage of your cancer?". My friend said that question felt like they were asking her if she was going to die? She didn't share her stage because she wanted to focus on what she was doing to treat her cancer. She needed to focus on the positive & not the negative of her cancer.

One other thing you should never do to someone newly diagnosed is tell them a story of someone who has lost their battle. This happens more than you can imagine. Remember, when we are first diagnosed we are clinging to hope and need every positive story and every miracle.

So, next time someone you know is diagnosed offer an ear to what they are willing to share at that moment. Everyone is different. If you are unsure of where they are at with their journey aSk questions that focus on their plan of healing. Ask how you can help and by all means offer prayer and positive thoughts. And no matter what, please know above all else we need you and we are so grateful for your love and support.